Living With Yourself
The Undefined Journey
Many people go on month-long voyages and adventurous worldwide excursions in the efforts of “finding themselves”. But what does it actually mean to find yourself? This is another topic which may invoke head shaking and increased doubt in the sanity of the so-called misguided sleuth. Who is in search of what is rather, quite undefined. We all have heard of those who have gone out in search of finding themselves and we tend to think of it as a trend or phase of immaturity. Yet we so easily dismiss what the searching is actually for.
Avoiding Awareness
The reason why many people go on these quests of searching can be summed up by the account of the author Charles Jackson and the experience his daughter had one day after school. While spending time with friends at an ice-cream parlor, she stared into the mirrors which lined the walls and had a very profound moment. “It was the darnedest thing!” she said. “I saw this girl’s profile in the glass and I stared and stared, wondering who she was, when all of the sudden I realized it was me. All the time it was me!”
There are those who search to find out more about this stranger in the mirror. While many of us try our best to avoid these moments of awareness of…our self. The problem with this self-awareness is that we are unable to avoid what will be found. For what we find cannot be ignored. We cannot fool ourselves. So instead we choose to lie to this face in the mirror. To continue to harass ourselves with lies upon lies. Until there is a pile of deceit layered upon the truth, which is what we truly need and should desire.
More Than A Month Long Journey
Many search for themselves for only a designated amount of time, because that is how much their finances will allow. They search in hopes of quenching this need for something they feel so strongly for. Yet this is not a small trek in life, but it is a part of THE journey of life. It is not a bucket list item or a summer adventure, but rather a lifelong process of knowing yourself and finding the fulfillment that lies in this self-knowledge. Of understanding what makes your clock tick and seeking those very things out, despite the number of hits or misses.
Keys To Finding Yourself In Everyday Life
The key component which people encounter in the adventurous journey of finding themselves, is simply the unknown, the uncommon, the lack of habit. Now all these things can be found in a typical day and there is no need of planning this.
The situations which bring to light who you are, are those you most likely try to avoid. From your encounters and conversations with strangers. To doing new things, which you are far from having guaranteed success in. It is not by these things alone that we grow to know ourselves, but with the appreciation of these circumstances and awareness of ourselves in these encounters. There needs to be an awareness and effort in trying to find these things amongst the routine of a normal day. This awareness of life is what will make the difference. The awareness of the journey among what we see as all too common.
Now this is not a prideful awareness of ourselves, which focuses on what other people think of us. But rather an awareness of how we think of ourselves in these moments. The former results in self-conceit. While the latter one results in self-knowledge.
But This Isn’t In My Planner?
Very rarely will a person learn more about themselves in their routine or written somewhere in their daily planner. Rather, the resulting learning is likely to be, that they do not know themselves quite well enough. Knowing yourself in a deeper way comes from the way you respond to change, not the way you respond to what you already know.
Now most people greatly fear the risk which comes along with change, and place little value on the possibilities that come along with this risk. We go about life continuing what we do day after day, trying to make sure things don’t get worse. While never looking for those things in life which may make it better.
It Is Not In Finding But Knowing
The funny things is, it is really not at all about finding yourself. There is a very similar, simple phrase, which I believe is more appropriate. Know thyself. This phrase spoken by Socrates (we think) and written by Plato, changes the way you go about it all. In thinking that we need to find ourselves, we believe that once we do then we are finished. But in taking a month off to go find yourself, you will probably just find that you found something that you need a lot more time in figuring out.
Each person wants to be able to say who they are. To not look themselves in the mirror and have a conversation with a stranger. To look into the mirror and see who they were, who they are, and who they are striving to become. Now in writing this I am not declaring that I understand how this path is actually traveled, but I do know that it does need to be traveled. That knowing thyself is something that should be of importance to us. The new trend is to know more about actual strangers who are plastered in the media. Then to get to know more about the stranger staring back at you. We have great fear in what we may find in searching, but we do not fear enough what we may lose in not.
A Journey Defined (Somewhat)
So now you might be asking, “Well, what should I do then?” and that is a great question. I tend to think that if we really knew, then there would a couple more words added to the end of “know thyself”. I may not know exactly what you should do, but I do know that you don’t need to leave home to find yourself. While it does help to rid us of the comfort which so easily impedes our progress. Not all are able to pack up and go. You can start right now in knowing more about yourself, without the need of a new backpack or plane ticket.
What you are able to do, is to look into the mirror and see who is staring back. See how that person responds to failure and success. How much of a say fear has over courage. How much value is placed in the view of strangers than in your own. To look in the mirror and seek to change what you find, which you are unsatisfied with. To look into the mirror and seek to know who is staring back, and to make that person worth knowing.
Many people decide to travel an uncommon path in hopes of finding themselves. But it is not the path that matters. But the position which the person is put in. This is where they start to know themselves. Finding yourself is not a guarantee, but knowing yourself is a lot closer than you think.
Life, keep it simple and live it
Josh